Conversation in Yet Another Tight Spot
by YYHfan-KB
Summary: Sherlock and John are in another cramped situation, what will our favorite duo discuss this time? Humourous fic, I hope everyone enjoys it, and please don't take anything written in it seriously.
1. Stuck Again, Ice Balls, & Watches

"I cannot believe our luck."

"Neither can I John, neither can I."

"I mean honestly, people are going to talk about how often we get stuck in places like these."

"They do little else John."

"But you know, this one is entirely your own fault Sherlock."

"…"

"You know I'm right."

"…"

"Honestly Sherlock, locking us in a closet all because you thought you heard something suspicious."

"You're the one that followed me in here."

"That's because you had a death grip on my wrist and wouldn't let go."

"I had to be sure you were safe, I'd be lost without my blogger."

"Uh-huh."

"I would, without you who would run interference when I don't want to deal with Sally and Anderson?"

"Oh so I'm a human shield against them am I?"

"Yes."

"Sherlock!"

"What? It's the truth; I use you as a shield from their stupidity because you can handle them better than I can without losing your temper. You also make excellent tea."

"Oh so I'm a glorified tea maker now?"

"John don't be so touchy, I meant it in a good way."

"Whatever."

"John…"

"..."

"John, I'd appreciate it if you move your elbow out of my ribs."

"Why should I?"

"Because then I might be able to get off your foot."

"Fine."

*shuffling*

"..."

"..."

"I'm freezing."

"So am I Sherlock."

"I don't like the cold very much, back in elementary school the other kids would throw ice balls at me."

"Ice balls?"

"Yes John, ice balls. Not cute fluffy snow balls that go poof, but solid ice that left bruises."

"Why?"

"Because even then I was labeled as the 'Freak'."

"Oh, I'm sorry Sherlock."

"It's fine; it was a long time ago and I honestly didn't care what people thought about me."

"Well I care."

"I know you do, you're the only person I've ever made friends with remember?"

"…"

"…"

"Why is it Sherlock that we always get locked into the smallest possible place and its always pitch black?"

"I'm not sure, but look on the bright side; at least we have our phones."

"But they're dead."

"True, but at least this means we won't have to get you a new one this time."

"Yes but Sherlock they're no good to us at this point."

"…it's the thought that counts…"

"Just keep telling yourself that Sherlock."

"..."

"..."

"How long have we been in here John?"

"Hold on."

"..."

"Only an hour and a half so far."

"I see you decided to get a new watch after all."

"Yeah well with you destroying them every time I turn around I wasn't sure I should but I also figured it might be a good idea to have one."

"Excuse me, I've only destroyed a few of your watches John."

"Ten and counting, and you had better not destroy this one, I like it, it glows in the dark."

"Interesting, could I take it apart and find out what compound they used to make it glow?"

"No Sherlock, that would be destroying my watch again and I'd like to keep this one."

"If you insist."

* * *

**A/N:** I'm back, and can officially say I love writing conversation fics, these are so much fun to write and come up with topics. Speaking of which, if you have anything you'd care to perhaps see in a conversation let me know. Random words such as snowball, useless, cold and temper are what spurred this chapter into life.

All I need is one or two words for a possible conversation to happen, so leave me a review on the way out please, I like feedback.

^_^ KB


	2. Who's Closet Are We In? & Reprecussions

"John, did you by chance inform Lestraude where we were going?"

"Yes, and he said not to."

"And you didn't tell me this?"

"Would you have listened?"

"..."

"My point exactly."

"Surely Lestraude knows that I wouldn't have listened."

"Probably, I hope they come looking for us eventually."

"So do I, I think I know who the killer is."

"Oh? Care to share?"

"It was the son."

"Please tell me its not the son whose house we're currently locked in the closet of."

"..."

"Sherlock!"

"Don't shout, I'm right here."

"You idiot! Couldn't you have told me before we came here?"

"I only realized it after we got locked in here."

"Oh?"

"Yes, the shoes I noticed under the bed had a brownish mud on them, none of his other shoes do from what I could tell before the door shut on us."

"I see, so basically we're stuck in an axe-murder's closet with no chance of rescue until morning."

"Precisely."

"It's times like these that I hate these kinds of things."

"..."

"Sherlock?"

"Do you hate me because I get you into dangerous situations?"

"No Sherlock, you're my friend as crazy as you are, and I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Good because I don't intend to change."

"..."

"..."

"John, did you take the kettle off before we left?"

"No."

"..."

"..."

"Have you ever heard of the Quantum Butterfly?"

"What nonsense are you talking about now John?"

"It's an old folk story that when a yellow tailed butterfly with blue eyes on its wings, supposedly as it fluttered past it could cause whole hurricanes."

"That's utterly ridiculous."

"It's a fable Sherlock."

"It's still ridiculous."

"Whatever."

"..."

"..."

"This is the worst."

"No it's not John, that time we were stuck under that stairwell was bad."

"True... What would truly would be the worst would be being stuck in a closet with Anderson."

"..."

"..."

*a loud bang of a door somewhere causes both of men to jump*

-what was that?-

-how should I know John? Now be quiet-

*footsteps can be heard pattering around the house, a sudden burst of music and the chink of glasses being pulled out of the cabinets and both men tense as a second set of footsteps enters the bedroom where their little hiding spot is located.*

-should we do something Sherlock?-

-shh, not yet.-

*the footsteps retreat back into the living area where they can hear someone giggling*

-now?-

-no-

*time passes and John finds himself gripping the gun tucked into the back of his pants anxiously as they listened to the giggling come closer. A sudden knocking on the door in front of John startles him then he realizes its Sherlock drawing attention to their presence by knocking on the door.*

*"Honey, what's that sound?"*

*"I'm not sure."*

"Can you please open the closet door? It's a bit cramped in here and frankly I'd like to get out of here."

*"Oh my god! There's someone in the closet!"*

"We really would appreciate you letting us out."

*the door opens suddenly and a large, well muscled man is staring at the men standing in his closet.*

"Who the hell are you?"

"Sherlock Holmes and Doctor John Watson, our apologies for intruding in such an awkward manner but you see we were investigating a murder and it unfortunately led us here."

"A murder? Honey what's going on?"

"It's nothing sweety."

"Oh of course, the fact that you murdered your father in cold blood with an axe yesterday evening at five is nothing at all."

"You little-"

*John tackled the man suddenly and the audible whoosh of breath being knocked out of the killer was followed by a half yelp as John landed on his ribs.*

"Stay put or else."

"Excellent tackle John."

"Thanks, you wanna let Lestraude know we got our man Sherlock?"

"Madam, might I impose as to use your cell phone? I'm afraid that mine is dead."

"Uh..."

"Thank you."

"..."

"..."

*a few hours later at NSY*

"What do you two mean you got 'accidently locked into Tommy Greebs closet' whose home I expressly told you _not _to enter?"

"Well Sherlock thought he saw something and when he went to look I sorta fell over a stool and next thing we knew we were locked in the closet."

"I can't let you two out of my sight without something going wrong, do you know how much paperwork this is going to cause me? Not to mention the headache I'm going to have from trying to convince the head not to give me the boot?"

"Don't worry inspector, I'm sure you'll be fine."

"Gee thanks Sherlock, now get out of my office, no cases for you two for the next week."

"WHAT?" *simultaneous explosion from both John and Sherlock*

"Lestraude do you know what he's like when he doesn't have a case?"

"No cases? I can't live without something to do!"

"The flat won't survive, I might not survive Lestraude?"

"What am I supposed to do all week? Laze around and watch rubbish telly?"

"Out."

"But Lestraude,"

"No, both of you, out."

*with a sigh of defeat both men left, John already thinking about just how he could get out of the flat, possibly the country, for the week while Sherlock pouted pathetically*

* * *

**A/N: **Alright so this is me cutting this one short, I realized I didn't start it like I wanted and I really didn't want to go back and change it so I thought I'd run with it.

I'm hoping to start another one here as soon as I'm done with this so don't go too far away ok? I promise I'll have another one up soon that'll be better. (basically my muse for this has run off and joined another idea sorry guys)

^_^ KB


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